Louis Skolnick, Rapist

Is this man a rapist? I say fuck yes.

A couple of weeks back I was at an engagement party for some friends where the topics of conversation should have been pleasant.

“So where are you going for your honeymoon?”

“How did he pop the question?”

“Open bar, right fuckface?”

“Did you know there was a rape scene in Revenge of the Nerds?”

That’s right, I hijacked many conversations that night with a question that has been bothering me for weeks.

Growing up, Revenge of the Nerds was without a doubt one of my favorite movies. Fast forward 25 years and it still holds a soft spot in my heart. I’ll always have much love for Lamar, Takashi, Ogre, Booger and everyone else.

But there is one scene that has been gnawing it at me for the better half of a year:  The rape scene.

Louis Skolnick raped Betty Childs.

There is no fuckin’ doubt about it. At least in my mind.

Quick refresher course. Skolnick wants to give Childs the high hard one but she wants nothing to do with the Tri-Lamb. She’s too busy getting her meat delivered by Stan Gable, star quarterback for the Adams Atoms (somehow I doubt this team has ever qualified for a BCS Bowl but that’s a story for another day) while Skolnick is a fuckin’ ugly geek.

Skolnick, the nerd that he is, hatches a brilliant plan. At the homecoming carnival, everyone is dressed in costume. Skolnick steals Gable’s costume and follows Childs into the fun house.  There, on an inflatable moon, Scholnick makes sweet rape to Childs.

Despite the fact that Childs somehow is okay with it because Skolnick is apparently a combination of John Holmes/Peter North/Ron Jeremy wrapped up in his 5-8, 146 lb frame doesn’t mean it’s any less rapey.

Not all rapes are of the Jodie Foster-getting-trained-on-the-pinball-machine variety. Some rapes are a little more subtle.

Still, I would’ve thought someone, anyone, should’ve stood up at some point  during pre-production and said something, anything.

“Hey, umm, you know that scene in the funhouse where Louis puts on Gable’s outfit and fucks Betty on the moon? Yeah, well, umm, THAT’S RAPE!”

No one did stand up and say anything. Not during pre-production and not after the movie went on to gross a little over 40 million in the theaters and countless millions in VHS/DVD sales/rentals afterwards.

No one said anything.

This is what kept me up at night. So I started asking a bunch of friends for their thoughts. Here are some of their replies:

“He fuckin’ tricked her. If that’s rape, then I’ve raped a lot of girls.”

“Childs was into it. Can we call it consensual rape?”

“If I climb into bed thinking I’m fucking Teddy McGinley and I’m really fucking Bobby Carradine then I’m being raped.”

“I’m torn. Do you even know if there was penetration? To me it seemed like he might have gone muff diving but never even took his cock out. So I think at best that would be sexual assault 2, but I’m no fuckin’ cop. And besides, she loved it. Even became his fuckin’ girlfriend. And she didn’t even care that his frat made pies that featured a photo of her banana titties. I’m leaning towards not rape on this one.”

“If you don’t think that’s rape, then you’re probably a rapist.”

“Wait, how fucking old are you?”

I got lots of opinions, but no consensus. Now I’m more confused then ever.

To me, this case should be bigger than Tyson, bigger than Duke lacrosse. But no one’s talking about it except for me.

So tell me, what do you think?